Thursday, May 31, 2012

Steel Baby

 I had Anna take these pictures to see if her camera phone was any better. Not feeling it!
 This is our new frig. I've been calling it the steel monstrosity. It's a bit HUGE. No one else sees that it is a bit large. I know shut up, it's new.
 I am not calling the stove/oven a monstrosity. It is nice and I'm not complaining about the 5th burner. What I will complain about is the fact that the damned handle on the microwave is stainless steel and you brand the shit out of your hand if you try and open it when the stove has been on for a while.
The dishwasher is falling out of the wall when you open it. Den installed it. Sigh. But everything is new. I think that some of my problem is the bill that is coming along with these babies. I'll love them when they are paid.
They really do add quite a bit to the kitchen. It seems that we are finally catching up with the 21st century. This is an expensive century.
Now all I need to do is update the rest of the house since it isn't as spiffy.
Thanks for letting me vent,
The ungrateful one

Monday, May 28, 2012

Only Me

Did you ever just look around and think, "why me?" I do and very, very often. I really don't know how I manage to get myself into bad situations but its where I like to stay.
I'll cut to the chase on this one so that you will have plenty of time to make fun of me. It's ok, we will see if you are more witty than the asses that I live with. I say asses because they are being a bit rude about the entire thing. I would like to think that they are just overjoyed and relieved so they are looking for an outlet. I doubt it.
You know how you have little lumps in your mouth. Go ahead and run your tongue around your mouth, I'll wait. See, I told you they were there. Well, I noticed that I had one under my tongue. It hurt a little. I ignored it. It's what I do. Then I noticed that it was getting bigger. Well that's a bit odd. So I decided to look at it. I mean, it's my tongue. I talk enough for three or four people. I would die if I couldn't talk.
So I took a gander at it. Ummmmm, I'm no doctor but a large black bump isn't supposed to be there. Hmmmmm, oral cancer runs in my dad's family. To be honest, I flipped out a bit on this one. It looks terrible and it hurts and I was pretty sure that I was dying. When I showed it to Den, he seemed very worried. He doesn't worry. His job is to tell me to calm down whenever I get upset, which he didn't. Anna cried. Well great! DJ told me that he loved me. Just start digging the flipping hole for me now.
I called the doctor's office. I told them about my little problem. They said that they need to see me right away. Again, this just cemented the fact that I was going to die.
By the time that I got into the doctor's office, I knew that the heart attack was going to get me first. My blood pressure had to be through the roof. Anna insisted on going with me. Again, everyone was making me feel as if I was going to kick off-SOON.
I told the doctor quickly about my lump and about my family history. He exhaled loudly-it was a concerned exhale. I panicked more. I didn't think that I could be any more upset.
So I popped open my mouth for him to see. He made an odd grunt and left the room. He was probably going to get a body bag.
He came back in with those bizarre looking magnifying glasses. Again, he grunted.  "Well, it isn't mouth cancer," he said. OMG, I could breath again.
"I think that you have a splinter under your tongue," he added.
"Well, how the hell did that get there?"
He just looked at me like, "I have no idea what you are putting in your mouth."
I'm going to a specialist to decided what to do with it.
Den seemed happy when I told him that I wasn't dying. But when I told him about my splinter, there was a Pinocchio joke that soon followed.
Why me,

Thank You and Garage Saling.

First off, thank you so much to every person in the military. Every privilege that I have is because of the people that have risked everything for me-a stranger. I am in awe of everything that you have given me.

Den and I are having a blast shopping for Anna. For $3.50, we got Anna an awesome bagless vacuum, a potato masher and a pink-spider-looking drying rack. She hangs a lot of her clothes at school. She doesn't like to dry her jeans especially. She uses free pinchy clip hangers now to dry her jeans. I think this will be a great addition to all of the stuff that we are collecting for her college apartment. Here is the list of things that we need for her 1st furnished apartment.
So far we have spent-
$84.81 at Goodwill
$75.99 at Dollar Tree
$3.50 at garage sales
We have spent $164.30 so far. I'm torn on the amount of money that we have spent at the Dollar Tree. I know that some people HATE it and others LOVE it. There is never a middle ground on the Dollar Tree. We may have been able to get some of the things we bought at the Dollar Tree for less than $1 at garage sales. It was nice though just to pick up matching things like bowls, containers, pot holders.She also got the beloved   popsicle maker. Why do I have the feeling that alcohol will be added to her popsicles? She loves it almost as much as she loves her "new" chair!
I think that we will be able to collect everything for her 1st apartment for under $200. That is unless she finds some more odd looking porn furniture. Her roommate is also collecting for the apartment. They have been emailing each other the lists but I have the odd feeling that they will have duplicates. Oh well, the two of them managed to live in a tiny dorm with tons of stuff. This apartment will seem like an empty airplane hanger compared to the dorm.
I just wish that Anna had taken pictures of the entire apartment. It would give us a better idea of what will and won't fit. The thing is Ms. Anna went and looked at the apartment and then sold us on the idea. She had me at "$3000 a year cheaper."
Have a great day and thanks for coming to see me,

Friday, May 25, 2012

Fabulous Friday!

One of my favorite places on-line is Hip to Save. I can find tons of deals there. I try and visit a few times a day! Do you have a site that you visit often?
Have a Fabulous Friday,

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Selling Santa?

It would be so nice to get a huge chunk of money in! I got $3 for another Pinecone survey. Feel free to hiss at me and throw vegetables, I'm boring.
And here we have it. I have earned.....
Pinecone $36
Toluna $80
BP $150
For a grand total of------$266
 I've spent $117.88 on everything in the Christmas closet. I think next year I'm just going to buy gift cards for everyone instead of gifts to stash in the closet. I think this will be better received but will mean that I need to come up with more "free" money. Again this is just a thought!
I have $186 in my Christmas fund. So if you are good at addition, you will see that my numbers are off. I had a gift card from Cracker Barrel and spent $19.88 of it on Christmas gifts. It was a birthday gift so I count it as free.  I may or may not adjust my numbers. Decisions, decisions.
I'm not on track for Christmas. We figured before that I needed $1400 if I haven't worked any deals. And the gift card deals are not forth coming. Crap. So I'm really short.
Prostitution is an option,

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

A New Addition

 Aren't you glad that I didn't say that I was pregnant? I am! We are adding a new stove, frig, microwave, and dishwasher to the family. I have the odd feeling that Den will like the stainless steel appliances more than the kids. I would put money on it.
Our oven quit, the frig and freezer shelf doors are being held on by duct tape. Did you know that duct tape does not work so well when it is frozen? I know this because it has been replaced by moi many, many times over 17 years. I've nursed these babies for all I could get out of them!  Also the frig is normally very watery. I know, odd statement but no matter how many nobs I turn-it's always wet in there. Kind of like its been raining. The water was turned off to the ice maker about 8 years ago so I know that something is actually wrong with it. I bet you have never had things rust in your frig. It's a gift really.
So we did something that we never do and financed the entire shiny mess! It about killed me. You may find my ass in the corner, in the fetal position sucking my thumb and clutching the checkbook.
We bought from HHGregg. They are new to this area so they are way cheaper than anything that I could find. There was a 10% off special and I got another 10% off for signing up for their rewards card. Good thing I did my homework. We ended up paying $2300 for all with delivery. We also got 12 months free financing(Its 29.99% normally-they have to be crazy! Who pays that?). We will also be getting $470 back in the form of a visa card. I think that I just finished funding Christmas.  
I hate owing anything but it needed to be done. Den pulled the oven apart a year ago. He was complaining then that we needed to replace everything because it was all so old. I hope that we get 17 years out of these appliances. The frig is 17 years old, the microwave is 17 years old, the dishwasher 12 years old and the stove is about 14 years old. I think that we went past the point of now return with some of these appliances about 10 years ago.
I'm hoping to make our money back on the electricity that we save since everything will now be energy efficient. I doubt it but a girl can dream. Or maybe we will win it all back in Vegas. Again with the dreaming!
Have a great day,

Monday, May 21, 2012

Choose For Me

Our poor, poor Jessie is not doing so well. This picture is from happier days. She can barely walk and is having accidents in the house. Just when I think that it may be the time for her last car ride, she seems to straighten up and the accidents stop. She is having a hard time getting up and down the stairs. But for 13 she is a fighter and it just breaks my heart.
She had an accident in the house the other day. It was in Den's game room. He lovingly helped me by scrubbing the berber with bleach. Yes, bleach spray! I bet that you didn't know that if you spray bleach on white berber it turns brown. Who knew?!?!?!?!
So which one should I be mad at?
Off to scrub berber,

Friday, May 18, 2012

Fabulous Friday!

 This is kind of exciting! We have a new theme for Fridays.

I figure the Goodwill is probably the most fabulous thing going on here. We have been to more than our fair share of them lately. It's fun to look at all of the interesting things you can find. Just bring hand sanitizer. If you want to learn more about Goodwill or find a store close to you, go here

That is the last one, I promise.
Have a fabulous Friday,

Thursday, May 17, 2012

What We Do For Our Children

 I told you before how messes make me nuts. Anna knows this so she cleaned her room and found a spot for everything. We are tetris masters in this house. I have to say that she has always been a good cleaner and very good at organizing when she puts her mind to it.
So she got everything put away and then we went shopping.
 That was about $100 worth of stuff from 2 Goodwills and the dollar tree. Fine, we now are back to where we started with a messy room. But the good news is that her Grandmother said she could store everything in her garage. Bless the woman.
 And then this happened. I needed to go grocery shopping. Are you asking yourself how a round couch/chair has anything to do with food? Me too.
We had to pass a different Goodwill and Anna thought it would be a good idea to stop. She is really loving the second hand shopping.
She spotted the couch and started to giggle. She then started to clap and jump up and down. She told anyone that would listen that she had to have the couch for her first apartment. Me being the loving and encouraging mom said, "Holy shit Anna, that looks like something from a 70's porn." Yes, it spins. That did not deter her. She had one of the ladies that works there help her tear the tag off so that she could buy it. The lovely lady told her that maybe she could fix it up by buying some throw pills from Pier One. This made me think of Mark. Let me quote him, "If so, ask your Daughter to bring home a gay friend from school to help you. But not a Lesbian! Unless you want you house to look like Pier One just threw up!" And that lead me to think about 70's porn and this woman being a lesbian. Mark, stay out of my head.

This is Anna on the "WORLD'S BEST CHAIR." It has been scrubbed, fumigated, disinfected and is flaking slightly thanks to its new found cleanliness.  It wouldn't fit in grandma's garage. It is now living in the game room with the boys. DJ looked at it and said,"I'm not even going to ask what the white stain is."
Thanks for coming to see me and our new chair,

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Get the Hell Out Anna-Part-Whatever?

Anna wrote a large chunk of this post. I think that she really wants her own apartment. I'm just so glad that we have an entire summer to gather for Anna's first apartment.
So here we go.........................
Living room
·         End tables
·         Floor lamp
·         Table lamp
·         Under bed storage
·         Space heater?
·         Bath mat
·         Toilet paper
·         Toilet brush
·         Toilet plunger
·         Shower curtain
·         Wastebasket
·         Flatware set
·         Knives
·         Coffee mugs
·         Cups
·         Serving bowl
·         Food containers
·         Spatula
·         Cutting board
·         Tongs
·         Ladle
·         Colander
·         Veggie peeler
·         Cookie sheet
·         Cake pans
·         Rolling pin
·         Mixing bowls
·         Measuring cups and spoons
·         Oven mitts
·         Plates
·         Bowls
·         Salt and pepper
·         Spices
·         Sponges
·         Dishwasher detergent
·         Paper towel holder
·         Silverware organizer
·         FOOD (staples –sugar, flour, baking powder, etc and containers for them)
·         Soap
·         Laundry basket
·         Laundry detergent
·         Dryer sheets
·         Swiffer/ Libman floor sweeper thingy
·         Vacuum  ß have one just needs to be cleaned if you don’t want to buy it.
·         Garbage can
·         Garbage bags
·         Windex
·         Bleach
·         Paper towels
·         Swiffer duster
·         Batteries
·         Extension cords
·         Bins
Odds and ends
·         George foreman grill
·         Slap chop
·         Food mixer
·         Fly swatters
·         Plastic wrap
·         Aluminum foil
·         Wisk
·         Bottle opener
·         Kitchen shears
·         Spatulas (metal and rubber)
·         Zip lock (large and sandwich bags)
·         Cutting board
·         Cup cake pans
·         Kitchen towels (in red and white for coke theme J)
·         Spoon rest
·         Pitcher
·         popsicle maker
·         pizza pan

I'm sure that we missed some of it but I think that will be her problem. Just don't tell her that I said that.
Her apartment is furnished so we don't have to worry about furniture. I think this is a pretty decent list so if you know anyone that is moving out feel free to cut and paste it. Maybe I'll give a copy to Den and DJ.
Happily collecting,

Monday, May 14, 2012


Things are a bit nuts here. And it shows a bit in my lack of visiting all of my friends. Sorry. Feel free to blame Anna as much as you want. I do and if that isn't enough sprinkle a bit of the blame on DJ. It's good for him, it will make him a better husband.
I'm out of sorts and all I do is sort. For the average person, they do loads of laundry-pussies. Laundry now comes at me in waves, sort of like a battlefield. At times, I'm winning. Other times, well we won't talk about it.
I found a calender in the mountain of shit, crap belongings that she drug in. Here are a few of my favorite-

I guess this one is my all time favorite!
If you want to feel sorry for me this is what we are dealing with as of now. And this is with 2 hours of cleaning!

I don't do well with messes so I'll just leave you with, "I'M NOT WELL!"
Have a great day,

Friday, May 11, 2012

Fab Abs Friday!

Oh I'm liking this one. I was just wondering what you would think if I did Fab Abs once in a while and did Fabulous Fridays instead? Maybe highlight something that is great or should I stick to the semi-porn?
Have a great weekend,

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Viagra Thursdays!

I really need to find a way to spicy up my Thursdays. In my non-blog life, Thursday is a calm day-usually. In my blog life, my Thursdays are boring. Hmmmmmm, I'm beginning to see a pattern. I should work on this.
So back to the Christmas mess-
I got a very pretty check from BP of $25 and a cute but not nearly as pretty check for $3 from Pinecone.
And the boring and slightly lower than I would like totals are...................
Pinecone $33
Toluna $80
BP $150
For a grand total of------$263
Any ideas how to sex up our Thursdays,

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

College Cooking

Back in the day, I made up an easy dinner/lunchable for the kids. It wasn't too bad for $4.30!
Anna is getting her first apartment in August. So I think that I am going to put together a folder with really simple and easy meals to make. It will kind of be like the bad day box but for the kitchen! To be honest, she has so much more potential for cooking than I ever had but everyone has to have their first kitchen so I hope this will help. I'm also going to get her some spices. I'm sure that Den will love to help with this project. He's all about the bedroom kitchen. 
So if you have any ideas for some super easy meals. Please let me know, I would really appreciate it and I'll even put your name on it when I make up the recipes for Anna. This will kind of be like the "Get the Hell out list by Frances" list that we came up with. I just realized that I need to come up with a list for her new apartment too. It's furnished but we have to collect everything else this summer. Garage sales, here we come. And I'm sure that our family and friends will contribute to her latest cause too!
Have a great day,

Monday, May 7, 2012

Mayor of Crazy Town

Did you ever look around and think, "WOW, my life really is nuts even by a crazy person's standards." I would just like to introduce myself as mayor of nutsville. I mean really, who does this shit happen too? Oh wait, me. Mind you, I'm not as concerned as most people would be about this situation only because my threshold for crap is much higher than others. This is a bit odd though and I thought, "Hmmmm, I should share this with you just so you feel better about your life." I'm really just alive as an example of what not to do. I'm a giver really.
Den's ex-girlfriend from before me. Yes, Den had a before. As in that "before" was just about pining away for me even though he had never met me. He assures me of this. Well not really, that's what I tell him to think. Anywho, his ex from a life time ago. Please keep in mind that Den and I have been together for 18 years. Say that slowly..........18 years. That is a very long time. So his ex from before me, doesn't like me. Whatever. He had broken up with her before me.
Some of our social circles still bump into each other, its a big town but not that big. And FaceBook has shrunk our circles even more. Anyways back to the story, I was talking to Dalten's mom, Kathy. Kathy is best friend's with Den's sister. Den's sister and Kathy and Den's ex all went to school together. Are you groaning yet?
I was telling Kathy about how Den's ex always says the exact opposite that I do if I leave a comment on someone's page that we both know. Mind you, I am not friend's with his ex in life or on Facebook. I just don't care enough to be friends with her.
Kathy said, "Hmmmmmmm, that is really odd." I just looked at her and said how Den's ex also contacted Anna on Facebook to tell her about why she wasn't with her dad. She wanted Anna to know her side of the story. So to recap-This nut job became friend's with our daughter just to tell her about why their relationship didn't work out. Because Anna was a teenager she would be friends with anyone, it's their thing not to edit their social circle online. I told Anna to unfriend her. She said no because she thought she was nuts and it was funny. Anna was 18 at the time and I couldn't do anything about it. Anna said the ex wasn't mean to her but  upset. AGAIN-Den and I have been together for 18 years! They dated 1 year when she was in high school and he had just gotten out.
Kathy then piped in that Den's ex had contacted her on Facebook to get all of the info on Den. Kathy knew that this was really out of place so just said he is married with kids.
Kathy then added, "You know, it's just a matter of time before she is wearing his skin!"
I told Den about it. Because he has an ego he said, "Well maybe I am just that good." Because I am a bitch loving wife, I added,"I have been with your ass for 18 years and I don't like you enough to stalk you." For some reason after I said that, he seemed a bit deflated. DJ said let her get sight of what he looks like now and this will all end! I think the boy takes after his mother.
Go and feel better about your life,

Friday, May 4, 2012

Fab Abs Friday!

 Yay for tummies!

I hope there is some drinking in the near future for all of us!